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Free 30 minute consultation for new high-conflict divorce clients
What is a Family Restructuring Consultant? Following a separation or divorce, particularly an emotionally difficult one, it will be time to move on with your life. Whether you have children, pets, or other family members to consider, restructuring your family can feel daunting. Some people are so emotionally drained that they promise themselves they will never have another relationship in their lives again.
We are social creatures, and we don't all foresee ourselves being alone for the rest of our lives. Most people crave companionship. Restructuring your family is more than possible after a separation or divorce. The majority of the people Rosana works with have children they share with their ex-partner or ex-spouse. Family restructuring requires careful consideration when your children are dependent on your strength and ability to make good decisions.
When it comes to restructuring your family, typically, the worst of the storm has passed, and you are ready to seriously consider the next steps. Whether you are considering changing homes, the children changing schools, introducing a new romantic partner in your life, or changing careers, all of these actions will have an impact on your children or other loved ones in your life.
Your ex-partner may not have moved on themself, your parent may think your decisions are frivolous, your friends may be pushing you into the dating scene, or you may need a change of scenery, all of which can be overwhelming.
If you have a tumultuous relationship with your children's other parent, introducing another significant adult into your life may elicit unexpected reactions from others. Learning when to introduce a romantic interest to your children and how to have the conversation is crucial in determining how that person will fit into your family dynamic. Often, people believe that after time has passed, things should be as simple as they were before.
Moving on becomes a greater challenge if the other parent is a high-conflict individual. The challenges you may face are exacerbated if your ex-partner is still interfering in your parenting or your personal life. Introducing a new partner is okay; however, to protect and preserve your future, you can make informed decisions if you gain the knowledge to prepare you and your new partner for what may transpire when the high-conflict individual is made aware of another person in their children's world.
More often than not, the decision to join your family with another person is already made before services are sought. Rosana is well-versed in assisting families already immersed in the conflict from adding a new partner into the family home. Establishing a united front and unwavering support with open communication is crucial. If there is ongoing conflict between you and your new partner regarding your ex-partner, your children will be exposed to further damage, particularly to their development and sense of self.
Learning the effects of divorce and new relationships on your children's development will empower you to offer your children the support they need, as they settle into adapting to another authority figure in the home. When high-conflict parents name-call or shame the other parent or their new partner, the children often identify themselves as being shamed as well. Children recognize that they are half of each of their parents; therefore, when one parent makes derogatory comments, the children believe they are also being attacked. Simple concepts are not so simple when it comes to your child's development and sense of self.
Regardless of your children's ages and stages, the communication style you share with others, and your plans going forward, Rosana can help make the transition smoother with less conflict and more stability. Rosana always practices with a trauma-informed lens, for the best interests of children as first and foremost.
FAMILY RESTRUCTURING IS AVAILABLE INTERNATIONALLY
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